Post by A L PSingle women supported themselves anyway so you wouldn't have had to be
dependent on anyone. The only thing wrong was the different pay rates for
men and women irrespective of family responsibilities.
Glad you mentioned that one, because otherwise I would've ;-)
But it's more than that, Agnes. Over the past 20 years I have felt
considerable pressure to find a mate and settle down. And this is in the
days of "women's lib". After I brought my first boyfriend home (and, come to
think of it, the only one I ever brought home!) my mother suddenly started
talking about weddings more than she had in the past. And my mother is a
pretty liberated woman. Before "women's lib" the pressure to find a husband,
settle down and marry must have been pretty friggin unbelievable.
Post by A L PThis is a difficult one to argue because all too often the people arguing
for the superiority of the current system are the intelligent, articulate
women who have careers - interesting, stimulating, with prospects for
advance, etc etc. The married women who toil in low-paid no-prospect
McJobs are as trapped as the married women who had "long since fallen out
of love with my partner and really no longer wanted to be in the house
with him." Not only that but they generally have to spend most of their
time separated from their children and pay for childcare. Housework is a
bore, to most people. What's left of the working person's domestic role
is the uninspiring part - cleaning, shopping as fast as possible, ditto
food preparation. The part missing is the creative aspect such as baking
cakes, experimenting with new recipes. dressmaking, knitting (never
appealed to me because I'm too slow, but others love it and find it
creative as well as soothing), running community organisations e.g.
brownies & scouting, maintaining friendships which meant that those who
were getting stressed had friends to unburden with. That social cohesion
role has been whittled away by time-poverty and I believe the community is
less healthy as a result.
Don't get me wrong, ALP. I fantasise about being a kept woman! And, you know
what? If I met the man of my dreams now and he was a middle to high earner ,
I bloody well would give up work, go back to university, study psychology
and economics and set the world on fire with my thinking, but not earn
another bloody cent until the book was published and became compulsory
reading for every Ec 101 student in the world! But I'd make that decision
from a position of financial independence - if it all turned to shit in 5
years, I would not be destitute and I wouldn't be facing a life of toil at
crap because I had depended on someone I loved who turned out not to mean
the "till death us do part" thing.
I've seen far too many women - and a few men, actually - left financially in
the shit and facing an extremely difficult future because they were prepared
to do the unpaid work while their spouse earned the income, then left. As a
matter of survival, I would strongly urge anyone I cared about not to follow
that route. Maintaining the ability to earn is, quite frankly, an essential
personal skill.